well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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