Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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