he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
