I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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