standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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