so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
