So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
