You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
