one word: firstdatebathroomanal
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
