I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Someone came in the potted fern
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
