i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
