Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
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