Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
