If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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