When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize