I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
