hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
