YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
