I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Randomize
