glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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