Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
