its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
