Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
