so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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