Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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