No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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