Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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