if you like me you must not know who I am
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
