I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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