...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
