Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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