We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
