I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
