to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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