You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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