I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
