If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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