Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i dont even know how to be here
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
