It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just saw a hot homeless man
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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