mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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