she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
