if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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