How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You ruined the universe
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
