Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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