Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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