i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
