dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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