If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
