if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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