I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
