wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize