Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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