Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
