Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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