That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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