When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
