Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Randomize
