I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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