when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
