I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
