Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
