Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
