I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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