I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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