Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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