plz talk dirty to me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
sarcasm needs its own font
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
