The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
